"Acceptance means: For now, this is what this situation, this moment, requires me to do, and so I do it willingly." -Eckhart Tolle
One of the things that is so incredibly important to me, now more than ever, is authenticity. Existing in this digital world that we live in, it’s becoming even more challenging to maintain a sense of authenticity. Social media is a huge reason for this. We’re constantly refreshing these apps that make us keep our focus on everyone else, but ourselves. “This” is what my body should look like, “that” is what I need to buy, “this” is the life that I should be living. I myself have gotten so caught up in these antics that I find myself feeling miserable and like I’m constantly not good enough.
This week was a really bad week for me. I was in a deep hole that I could not seem to get myself out of. I was in a funk. As of recently, I’ve discovered that when I’m in these moods it’s because I’m RESISTING and not ACCEPTING. So, what does that mean?
Well, for myself, one huge trigger is when I feel like I’m not doing well enough. I compare myself to other people and question, why am I not more successful, why am I not making as much money as them? Why can’t I go on lavish vacations and buy new beautiful clothes every day? And, then that turns into me resisting my own life circumstances.
But, resisting whatever your circumstances are in your life, is completely pointless and if anything, a roadblock to getting what you do want. Think about it. When you’re exercising and you use a resistance band, that makes the workout ten times more difficult and you have to work twice as hard to complete a motion as you would if the resistance was not there. So, something that I’m learning to do is choosing acceptance over resistance.
It’s not an easy feat, and I really struggled with it this week. For me, even accepting that I’m in a negative head space or a bad mood is extremely hard. Why am I SO angry, why can’t I snap out of it? This is not helping me get what I want and I know it, but I can’t help it, WHY WHY WHY. But again, resisting the moment, which in that moment is a crappy mood, does not do anything! It does not remove the mood, it just keeps you stuck in it.
I’ve even personally experienced the difference that acceptance makes for a life situation or circumstance. Before I got into a relationship, I was single for four years. And, I was extremely resistant to being single. I hated being single, I wanted a boyfriend the whole time, and would constantly complain about all the fuck boys that would cross paths with me. But then, after about three and half years, I just started not caring anymore. I moved into a place of acceptance. So what, I’m 25 and still single. Okay whatever, no biggie. I stopped resisting where I was in my life. So what, other people my age were all getting married and I didn’t even have a boyfriend. What does that matter? I started not minding being single so much anymore. And then, I even started to embrace it! I was like, you know what, I know I’m going to meet someone eventually, I might as well enjoy this time on my own while I have it. And after that, it was just a few months before I met someone and got into a committed relationship!
So, I’m writing this today because I want to share my bad moments, the challenges, and the difficulties that I encounter as I’m moving through life. Because that IS life. There are highs and there are lows. Social media is not an accurate depiction of life. We only see what people choose to put on display. Often, that's only the highs of peoples’ lives, only the picture perfect shots. And, it’s SO easy to get carried away, and feel bad about yourself because you’re only exposed to everyone and everything else being better. But, we really don’t know the whole picture. Someone may have more money than you, but are lacking in other areas in their life. Someone may on the outside seemingly have a perfect relationship, but behind closed doors it’s quite different. We just don’t know.
So, that’s my take for today. Choosing acceptance over resistance in all moments. Except when you’re working out of course. ‘Cause that shit will get you toned. Haha. Cheers!